I think about him still. It's getting pretty unhealthy. I know. But how else am I supposed to get through him? My feelings are confusing me now. There were times where I didn't have them because of the differences and because I can't tolerate anyone.
As for today,....well...they came back like a spirit from the dead, tracking down every single trace I have left and blew a silent whisper behind my ear. I don't know if it's pure infatuation. I don't want to know. I don't care about the answer. I have come to a point where I stop having faith in humanity. I am not expecting anything. Especially from the opposite sex. Fuck hope. That's always my anthem, which I proudly sing to the rest of the living beings just to annoy the fuck out of them.
But I felt something today. The wanting to have and be had. The need to find the yet-to-be discovered solution of Rubik's cube. The waiting. The missing link.
I don't want to use him as a form of escapism. That's not what this is all about. It never was.
He is, after all, the boy in the capsule, whom I have discovered somewhere beyond the borders of grass I used to sit on in the lazy afternoon.
RANCANGAN JAHAT ZELENSKY
1 year ago
why are u wasting your time with a bloke - not worth a penny - not worth a thought -
ReplyDeletea woman need a man just like my cat need a 501 denim blue.
cheers n smile - have a good week
aku bersimpati dan meratapi kecelaruan kau...dan juga aku tidak bersetuju dengan keadaan soliloquy ini... ampun kata, aku bukan pencinta agung layaknya gibran, tetapi aku juga bersetuju dengannya ; harapan yang membawa aku kembali ke tanah airku.harapan menemukan aku kepada ibu dan saudara perempuanku.harapan yang akan terus aku pikul sebagai galas alasan aku terus hidup bagi menemui dia setelah 13 tahun ini...nah, bukankah harapan juga yang telah menjadi tabor dan gendangan agar kau terus melalui hari2 milikan kau?hari ini adalah harapan untuk hari-hari mendatang.jangan lah kau cebikkan harapan, masih luas ruang ini... *aku doa kau berjaya berkomunikasi dan tidak hanya ber soliloquy*
ReplyDeletePos in tidak ada makna dan tiada kena mengena dengan sesiapa yang hidup maupun yang mati =)
ReplyDeleteahahah...maknanya aku sering tertipu dengan paparan di blog...aduhai...cetek sungguh aku...ekspektasi aku sering ke arah tersirat, makanya yang tersirat itu satu bucu yang lain tentunya ada pantulan atau garis refleksi kehidupan penulisnya...ahahah bocah sungguh aku ini...ampun... =) *tersipu*
ReplyDeletemau kau cuba ke blog suram aku? hanya puisi sunyi mati sahaja disitu... sarangsenipekik.blogspot atau separasedarpedulihapa.blogspot...by d way, aku amat2 suka dengan perincian blog kau... ikhlas...
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